Monday, October 25, 2004feel quite bad now. what's wrong. think i cared too much again. again. sigh. what's wrong. what's wrong with me. something i guess. something very wrong. sigh. it's like i think i caused quite a lot of unhappiness to people whom i care alot. or perhaps too much. sorry. really.
i tried to find a chance to talk to you. something which i have been finding the whole year. something that just dint come my way. i had two chances that night. that fateful night. but somehow it flew away without me. i had lost it. it's not that i dint see it coming. it's not that i dint cherish it. but there were unforeseen circumstances. too many. too much for me to handle. i have been bearing it all along. all alone. no one knew. no one knows. i felt really lousy. i just wanted you to be alright. i just couldnt leave you alone. i kept hoping that you will make the right decision. part of me wanted to stay put in the shelter. cos i've been thru this before. i cared too much once and it caused alot of unhappiness. i didnt want the same thing to happen again. it really crushed me. but i still went out in the rain to look for you. cos i knew that you are impt and even if i lost you i would know that at least i have tried my best. things arent the same as before. over-caring. something that wasnt said yesterday. this went thru my mind yesterday when over-righteous and over-wicked were mentioned. i'm really sorry.
