Friday, January 27, 2006oh how many times have i broken Your heart? but still You forgive, if only i ask and how many times have You heard me pray? draw near to me..
lost for words.
7:34 pm
Tuesday, January 24, 2006Jesus what can i give, what can i bring to so faithful a friend, to so loving a King Saviour what can be said, what can be sung as a praise of Your Name for the things You have done oh my words could not tell, not even in parts of the debt of love that is owed, by this thankful heart.
mustered enough courage to tell a.siok abt what i felt on sunday. told her it is pressurising for me to serve in pk. guess i cant meet up with the demands and the way things run. well. talked it over with her for quite a while and actually the whole day cos we were msging each other after church and she knew she was being quite pushy with me having high standards on me and stuff. she knows my team is the most 'jia lat' one in the sense that we do not have a fixed wl and we are on our own unlike the other teams. i know i have to change fast and i do not have time on hand but i really need to adjust all over again. justin's out and esther's in. i know i'm not supp to get used to anyone but it's inevitable to get used to justin after playing with him for a period of time. joshua's out too. gone are the days where there would be someone standing beside me to share my songsheet. no more guitarist. no more joshua in the team. someone to share my pressure with me. but hey shua it was really nice serving with you even though you're really forgetful. you dont know how significant you are bro. at least then i dint have to be the oldest one ard ya. but it's really encouraging talking to you every sunday and playing with you under chewy and james. joshiwawa. you have no idea the difference you made man.
anw on a lighter note today was rather draggy. out of the 20 odd people i have in my class, only 6 of us attended the maths lecture. the self procaimed gd student isaac ponned too. oh well. going to the airport later to pick daddy up. will prob sleep late again tonight. oh well.
7:08 pm
Sunday, January 22, 2006well first of all sorry if i've been unfriendly or dao-ed anyone of you today. was having a bad morning. i've got issues to settle and guess they're in the midst of being settled. pk worship was bad. i was in the worst form ever.the headache dint really help much. totally off focus. i dint do the intros as planned. filling ins were here and there. wrong notes. totally not prepared for doxology when i'm supposed to. dint know how to play the birthday song. man today was ultimate. sigh. could tell a. siok wasnt very pleased with me. after worship i thot the worst was over and she said ok pianists get ready for doxology. that hit me man. totally lost. after much deliberation i told her i wasnt prepared and she said "you guys shld have printed the chords for doxology and prepared for it. dint you read the mail? nvm scolding time later." i panicked like never before. really whoops man. OH NO!! oh wells. from that point in time i dint look forward to debrief. i knew i would get it from a.siok. guess i dint give a.wai fun a gd impression either. crap. anw dragged myself to the encounter lounge for debrief. felt really terrible. the backups had their debrief first then down to us. the musicians. that was it. i dint get scolded. amazing. debrief took a really long time today. ended like 1130. was thinking if i shld go for service cos i really wasnt focused and stuff. but i went up with a.wai fun anw. so pastor peter was quite interesting. but still i kept pushing Him aside. terrible feeling. i could have teared any moment.
stoned for a while after service and went down to meet lois to help her with her loci. she said she couldnt do it but i assured that if i could she can and ya. talk abt comforting others when i feel so terrible. started a conversation with her during the week cos i flipped thru the cards that i received for christmas and when i read hers again smth stirred in me. i knew that all of us in church were sunday frens when we just talk to one another on sundays and that's it. and the rest of the week we're left to struggle on our own. meet up on sunday and try to catch up on one another's lives. how much time do we have on sundays to talk? how much can we talk? so now i guess i'm trying to be more than a sunday friend and ya it takes time. lois and i share a certain chemistry that's unexplainable. oh well.
anw fusion yesterday was awesome. went in later than the rest and whoa the whole atmosphere was ...speechless. God's presence overwhelmed me as i stepped into the sanctuary. and the song they were singing was "You are awesome in this place mighty God, You are awesome in this place Abba Father." ya you get it. but honestly His presence was overflowing.
jeremy's a really interesting fella. i like talking to him although he's like 4 years younger than me but he and i can have an endless conversation. try talking to him and you'll know what i mean.
when i heard this song yesterday, i was left speechless. Give us clean hands give us pure hearts let us not lift our souls to another
so God let us be the generation that seeks that seeks Your face oh God of Jacob
cross-section. am i there?
7:25 pm
Friday, January 20, 2006whoa. just came back like erm 15 mins ago. ha. went to kap's mac to have jq's bday celebration. was supp to go pizza hut but oh well. the smashing was uh messy. had to help charlene with her hair in the toilet. then went on to bukit timah plaza to chill. when we finally decided to go home we went out of the building to stone for a while. then kaidi said we were at the wrong exit so we went back in and walked one big round and he said we have to go down. felt like boxing him la. so we went down and walked one more round. asked him for directions to the exit and he said dont know. well done. went in search of the exit and i asked him again. he pointed to the sign which said more shops and said "look, more shops means more exits!". wah i'm sure la. anw managed to get out of that old building for some fresh air. and fusion's tmr. whoa. it's gonna be great. the dao isaac's going too. anw think i better go and bathe soon cos i stink from pe. ha. he weekends are here!! whoa.
remember Your people remember Your children remember Your promise oh God..
8:16 pm
Sunday, January 15, 2006finding peace again fear is lost in who You are..
well what can i say. His grace still and really amazes me. no doubt. got a "manual" from a.siok today. shall have to find time to read. i've got three periods of econs and three periods of chem tmr. such fun.
oh ade thanks for listening ya. guess you were God-sent. ha.
8:40 pm
Thursday, January 12, 2006honestly i dont feel too good now. everything's coming my way. almost got scolded by a.siok just now when i asked her to help me email the team abt pract this sunday. i've got new members in my team and i'm a bit lost. i havent received the songlist when it's supp to be in by wed. actually i'm not even sure who are my backups. sigh. i'm really busy man. new schedule. i've got theory hw that i havent done and the lesson's tonight. two whole chem tutorials given today. trying to get used to meeting diff pple everyday. i'm sad and tired man. being a coordinator is easy. being a responsible one is the direct opposite. if only things can be simpler.
i am a flower quickly fading will You answer me when i call? will You catch me when i fall? everything's changing will You save me from this mess i'm in?
4:19 pm
Saturday, January 07, 2006all i want is more of You all i want is more of You nothing i desire Lord but more of You more of You
alright. gtg to the interchange later to get my bus concession. the mi dance was quite fun. honestly. justin says it's a different one in bartley. oh well. if that's the case then it shldnt be called mi dance right? anw sch ends at 215 on mon. quite early. kai di's crap i tell you. i've always thot rv people were the decent type but ya not saying he's not decent. nonsense. mass lectures on mon. how massive can it get when the lt's so small. bleh. a random thought.
super nova+evolution=supernovation
that's what the mi people say. oh well. can we make it to tokyo this year? i hope so man. dint make it to korea last year cos of daddy's job committments. i wanna play with snow. whee. i'm sure.
11:52 am
Friday, January 06, 2006monotonous. sch's been erm draggy fun tiring slacky and a bit of a waste of time at first. well at least i've got cranky people in my og. but travelling that kind of distance everyday is no joke. so i've got a justin lookalike in my og. wanting's classmate. the real justin's in bartley haha. anw went to the airport last night to send li jin off. people i dint expect to see were there. oh well good sign i guess. and lois kept smelling me la. a bit sick ya. anw was trying to dao james cos he kept interrupting me. as always la. always chipping in meaningless comments and laughing at himself. he got quite quiet after that haha cos i refused to talk to him. kept apologising so ok gave him a chance and he was at it again. oh well. john shared his toilet bowl joke. i couldnt help but tell amanda that her hair was really super black. guess i'm not used to her hair colour yet. anw. just scratched myself and the scratches dint go away cos i'm quite red now after today. a bit tanned. red is really red. and now there are white tones on my hand after scratching it. alright. sch starts officially on mon. and then hol on tues. such fun.
anw a new addition. got the idea from 2 Cor 7:14 and Jer 29:11. the previous made an impact. wanna know more? talk to me haha.
Set me apart, as i wait upon You Father Forgive me Lord, as i'm sorry for breaking Your heart Will you answer me when i call Will you be my guide when i'm lost
For i know the plans You have for me Plans to prosper and not to harm For i know the plans You have for me Plans of hope and a future And i will rest in You For Your joy shall be my strength