Tuesday, March 28, 2006whoa. my weekend was bad. felt like my brain was being fried or something. 39.3. sizzle. thanks to all who prayed and cared in one way or another. :)
lots of work to catch up on when i go back to school tmr. the maths assignment isnt as bad as i thought it would be. it's just a few questions on functions, ap&gp, and summation. i still dont get the last one. haha the symbols make no sense. bah.
i hope andrea makes it to the mi carnival. there's still like a month plus to it but she's been really busy with choir and stuff. oh well. typical ac stuff. i still miss all the mi people. andrea and vic. i should catch up with vic some day considering that our schools are not that far apart. i havent practised my pieces in a week. oh crap.
Lord, help me fight this fight of faith in a world so insane.
8:52 pm
Thursday, March 23, 2006whoosh. i got my new phone! haha. anyway that's not the point. orientation's ending tmr and it's back to studying. argh pw's on. crap. we all got the question paper on mon and we have to hand in our first draft of pi like in 3 weeks. bah. O2 was fun i guess. level camp today was rather erm thought provoking. looking forward to tmr. oh and it's disco night too. hmm. gonna end like 8 plus. so, almost half of my classmates are christians. is that supposed to mean anything? we'll see. i'm learning to love ny. it's quite sad if you spend two years in a sch hating it right? badminton rocks. i think mr lawrence's quite nice. thaddeus lawrence i think. i wonder why his head is shaved. haha.
turn Your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face and the things on earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glorious face
7:56 pm
Friday, March 17, 2006iSOW went well. four words from me to describe it. i'm glad i went. haha. i guess all of us needed that time of refreshing from Him. to quote andrea, "our life is full of brokenness. how can we live then, without becoming bitter except by returning to God's faithful presence."
take everything and leave it at the cross.
guess we did a lot of that today. all the symbolic stuff we did. maybe it's different cos we were with all the iSOM people. oh and the process of coming up with a song in 20 mins was just hilarious. uncle brendon's really cool. no doubt. somehow benedict and jeremiah ended up in our group when we were doing the missions thing for saudi arabia. ah that jeremiah was so active i felt like shaking him. couldnt stop moving around. my goodness.
it's a day out with james and josh tmr. we've got some shopping to do.
this song was on my mind all day long. way before jemmy influenced me with his bass snap clap thing. whoosh.
i will run i will soar on eagle's wings as i wait on You Lord my strength is restored fix my eyes on You Jesus as i run this race help me fight this fight of faith
10:07 pm
Thursday, March 16, 2006whoa. really shagged this time. had training yesterday and today. 5 hours each time. no joke. just when i thought coach was calling it a day, he said 'ok we'll do 4 sets of squats, 3 mins each!' 'what?!' haha. could have died. the 3 mins seemed like eternity. jac and i were walking down the stairs after that and we almost rolled down. wobbly. oh well. dropped by plmc for iSOW in the afternoon. talk about being overwhelmed. had some refreshing i guess. glad to see constance and ethel there. constance's down for iSOM and i'm down for iSOW. haha was talking about being in the same building for the whole but may not be able to meet each other. oh well. my week was supposed to be free, but then again maybe not.
who am i that You should save me who am i that You should love me who am i that You shoud give Your life for me
help me fight this fight of faith.
4:22 pm
Tuesday, March 14, 2006well. lots of things happened since the last time i blogged. let's see.
i dont know if this is a good thing but i really enjoyed the way worship was done on sunday. although it was just the clavi and the guit, somehow i felt that that was really all that we need. in fact i guess even a single instrument would be sufficient for worship. the absence of the drums didnt make me feel like anything was absent at all. i dont know. it just seems like i think differently from many people. perceptions. the recruitment's on for the w&m ministry. the announcement was interested people should look for andrew or chewy but at the end of it all they started giving everyone a form each. like huh? oh well. i was asking andrew and chewy whether they had withdrawal forms. guess chewy thought i was joking. andrew said it's a lifetime committment or smth like that. sigh. i'm not joking.
spent half the day yesterday with the 3js. met up with them for sakae buffet. guess we all ate our money's worth. john left when josh arrived. and after dinner we decided to take a walk and find somewhere else to talk. so yup we ended up at esplanade and we talked a lot i guess. considering our schedules and stuff it's hard to find such time where we can all talk abt stuff. so we found a spot by the river and talked. by far i guess the 3 of us are the closest in the sense that we talk quite often. ok we try to catch up with one another. it really helps when you talk about stuff and you know that someone's listening. my cell's getting smaller as time goes by. it's quite sad to see people leaving. it's a struggle. josh and i are pretty saddened by that fact. we were talking abt it last night and among the close people in the cell, it's just left with the two of us. so we're basically just encouraging each other every week. it helps in a way or another i guess.
talked to lois last night and boy we really think alike. talked a lot abt church. it's just so messy. it was nice talking to her and hearing her views which are similar to mine and it's just amazing at how josh lois and i think the same way for the second time. the church has a focus. the ministry has one too. but the sad thing is we always tend not to be focused on the focus. trying to bring in salvations but not providing the platform for them to grow is not helping much. so what if we bring in the people? are we helping them to grow? if people in church are not even growing then what can we expect? one by one they're all gonna leave. but then again it's really hard to make people understand cos our level of maturity is all different. people are introduced to the faith and that's it. not everyone gets the point i'm trying to drive at. i have issues that i really have to clear. it's just so different playing now from then. in fact it's been a struggle for me. maybe it's really time that i should take a break. the team i'm in may be the envy of others. but having been together for two years, we havent been growing spiritually. technically we may have improved but is that all that matters? it really seems so. it's so difficult to put the point across. and now with all the new people who are gonna come in anytime, the situation's gonna be worse. i dont want to play for the sake of playing anymore. it's been such a struggle recently. i miss that period when i stopped for a while because of my o's. it's a world of difference, trust me. being a worshipper without having to bother abt anything else. it's really hard to raise issues cos it's hard to get someone to listen and yet understand the situation. i fear i have lost the joy of playing.
i am longing just to see, Your power and Your majesty..
3:43 pm
Thursday, March 09, 2006i'm done with downloading!! so rejoice. oh well. it's a really slow process which takes days cos it simply doesnt work at night. boo. this week passes by so slowly. msged alvin just now then i remembered his phone is confiscated. haha vic called him a muthu. rahh. tmr's timetable is not nice. i have a block of 7 periods between gp and chinese. like whoa. we can all do a round of shopping and come back for lessons. 7 periods! that's quite a lot of time. but then again there isnt much in serangoon is there? deb called during chem today. she's quite sad i guess. the principal was talking abt the appeal today saying there are like 400+ people appealing in but only a few vacancies left. so deb called ny today and the person on the line said the selection was over. like what? oh well. but tampines is really far away. somewhere near the tampered pines.
nostalgia. if i had withdrawed from mi, i'm quite sure i would suffer from withdrawal symptoms.
the great I am, the Son of Man.
garrett's HOT! haha. Head of Training. tsk what were you thinking?trying to act hardworking by carrying his books in his hands when his bag is actually empty! tsk ah boy ah.
sherlene and i on results day. the one who almost broke my gift from susanna. haha. she's crap.
3:37 pm
Tuesday, March 07, 2006back online to dl my chem notes. oh well. gp was quite interesting today despite having to sit in the hall for 2 hours straight. had the level camp and orientation briefing too. sch ends late tmr. uh think ard 6. cos of the cca bazaar. oh wells. andrea ends at 8 tonight like whoa man. but then again it's the end of her orientation. submitted my application for my subject combi in sch. hope i'm not one of the two percent who dont get their first choice. cant imagine myself taking h2 physics. i will die with the spa and content of it. ugh.
went for the chem make up lecture with melvin today cos i dint know what eudiometry and dilution was about but it turned out to be something i had learnt at mi. oh well but i got lost anyway. everything's just so fast. i realised my chem teacher at mi was really gd. hm. ms chan. so far the teachers at ny havent been very inspiring. time will tell i guess.
i miss the times i spent at the benches at mi. the times where we could not decide if we should go for econs. and maths. ok and gp. haha. i miss the times when wei xin andrea and i would sit together during chinese and do some worksheet but end up sleeping. i miss the times when the whole class would just sit at the benches and stone. i miss watching people trying to sneak out of mi with withdrawal forms. mi may not be the best place to go to for pae but the experience is definitely one of a kind. i miss the times when i talked to vic about stuff. i miss the times when she would bully me and complain to joshua. haha. i miss the apples at mi. i tried them for the first time on the last day of school and they were really good la. so the moral is dont wait til the last minute to find out if something is good or not. oh well. 06S17.
7th march. :)
i'm listening to this song for like erm the 5th time? i dont know why but ya.
to the ends of the earth love unfailing, overtaking my heart You take me in finding peace again, fear is lost in all You are
and i will give the world to tell Your story cos i know that You called me i know that You called me i've lost myself for good within Your promise and i wont hide it i wont hide it
Jesus i believe in You and i would go to the ends of the earth to the ends of the earth for You alone are the Son of God and all the world will see You are God, You are God
5:07 pm
Monday, March 06, 2006argh.ny's website's taking forever to load. guess everyone's logging on at this time. sheesh. by the time i finish submitting my application for subject combinations and downloading all the lecture notes for the previous lectures, it'll be time to go to school. ok maybe not that long. but still i'm not even at the main page yet. after like 5 mins. oh well.
orientation's after the holidays. so it's lectures everyday for us. they call it academic orientation. hm. the maths lecturer's quite good. i could understand her lesson. until half an hour later when she went too fast and i got lost. haha. ap and gp. i've got to turn on the engine and start studying man. for once maths made sense to me. ok maybe it's the lecturer. i've got to learn to scribble. fast and furious. hm. andrea made it to ac. i'm really happy for her. whoosh. i havent practised my piano today. joshua i need help. haha i really hope they schedule me in september or smth. like that i have at least 5 months to prepare. please not july. i'll flop.
balala. when everything comes crashing down, You're always there to rescue me.
8:29 pm
Saturday, March 04, 2006Your word is a light unto my path Your love guides me through my darkest night and even though sometimes Your ways i cannot understand i'll never walk away because my future's in Your hands
i dont care what people will say i'm running after You i wont turn back and go their way i'm running after You don't matter what may come my way i'm running after You it's You i'm following today 'cos i'm running after You
so give me strength.
1:40 pm
Friday, March 03, 2006right. so i woke up at 730 today and i couldnt go back to sleep. went online to see who's there. went to the jae website and was really anxious. typed in my nric and the page appeared. the page that would make my day if it turns out right. nanyang junior college. ok it's not so bad but i would have flipped if it turned out to be saint andrews' junior college. but then again oh well. i've got to accept this. spend my first week of sch there and see how my appeal goes. mum sent me there to appeal ard 9 plus and i saw dominic! and daniel from iSOW as well. borrowed a pen from dom to fill in the pink form which everyone is holding. oh man. the clerk was so dao can. anyway i really hope my appeal will be successful. chose to walk out the long way instead of the shorter way so that i can find some peace. talked to God along the way and i guess i'm really thankful enough for what He's given. i mean it's really more than enough. mummy was saying it's already good enough that i got into a jc cos apparently it's really difficult to get into one this year with all the dsa ip and limited vacancies. and i got into ny. so honestly i guess i have nothing to complain about. but of course i was disappointed. will have to wait till 10th march to see if my dream will come true. constance's not staying on too. oh well. going down to ny later with deb cos i need to know my way there so that i wont be late on the first day of school.
something in my heart is burning like a fire i want to live for You need Your touch right now fill me with Your power i want to live for You, my God i will not be moved i will stand for You
i will go where You send me Jesus take me now i am Yours i am Yours i lay my life on the altar everything i give to You alone here i am here i am