Sunday, January 22, 2006well first of all sorry if i've been unfriendly or dao-ed anyone of you today. was having a bad morning. i've got issues to settle and guess they're in the midst of being settled. pk worship was bad. i was in the worst form ever.the headache dint really help much. totally off focus. i dint do the intros as planned. filling ins were here and there. wrong notes. totally not prepared for doxology when i'm supposed to. dint know how to play the birthday song. man today was ultimate. sigh. could tell a. siok wasnt very pleased with me. after worship i thot the worst was over and she said ok pianists get ready for doxology. that hit me man. totally lost. after much deliberation i told her i wasnt prepared and she said "you guys shld have printed the chords for doxology and prepared for it. dint you read the mail? nvm scolding time later." i panicked like never before. really whoops man. OH NO!! oh wells. from that point in time i dint look forward to debrief. i knew i would get it from a.siok. guess i dint give a.wai fun a gd impression either. crap. anw dragged myself to the encounter lounge for debrief. felt really terrible. the backups had their debrief first then down to us. the musicians. that was it. i dint get scolded. amazing. debrief took a really long time today. ended like 1130. was thinking if i shld go for service cos i really wasnt focused and stuff. but i went up with a.wai fun anw. so pastor peter was quite interesting. but still i kept pushing Him aside. terrible feeling. i could have teared any moment.
stoned for a while after service and went down to meet lois to help her with her loci. she said she couldnt do it but i assured that if i could she can and ya. talk abt comforting others when i feel so terrible. started a conversation with her during the week cos i flipped thru the cards that i received for christmas and when i read hers again smth stirred in me. i knew that all of us in church were sunday frens when we just talk to one another on sundays and that's it. and the rest of the week we're left to struggle on our own. meet up on sunday and try to catch up on one another's lives. how much time do we have on sundays to talk? how much can we talk? so now i guess i'm trying to be more than a sunday friend and ya it takes time. lois and i share a certain chemistry that's unexplainable. oh well.
anw fusion yesterday was awesome. went in later than the rest and whoa the whole atmosphere was ...speechless. God's presence overwhelmed me as i stepped into the sanctuary. and the song they were singing was "You are awesome in this place mighty God, You are awesome in this place Abba Father." ya you get it. but honestly His presence was overflowing.
jeremy's a really interesting fella. i like talking to him although he's like 4 years younger than me but he and i can have an endless conversation. try talking to him and you'll know what i mean.
when i heard this song yesterday, i was left speechless. Give us clean hands give us pure hearts let us not lift our souls to another
so God let us be the generation that seeks that seeks Your face oh God of Jacob
